Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Palin accuses Obama of palin' around with Left-Wing Radical in Kindergarten
Palin portrays Mr. Graystone as a communist because he and Paul Krugman, another Nobel winning economist were at the same day-care in New York, a year prior to Graystone moving to Hawaii. Mr. Krugman is considered to be a liberal economist who often write for the New York Times. Although Mr. Graystone was awarded the Nobel for his ground-breaking work on free market economy and positive effects of deregulation, Gov. Palin contends that he is a communist by virtue of having been in pre-school with Mr. Krugman.
The accusation was the main piece of primetime news even on the always fair and balanced, Fox News Network. Even one of their most unbiased and neutral analysts, Sean Hannity, expressed shock that Sen. Obama would pal around with Graystone. The reader may recall that Hannity was extremely reluctant to bring up Mr. Obama's association with known domestic terrorist and another Chicago professor, William Ayers, because Obama was only 8 when Ayers indulged in his anti-govt activties. Hannity told his viewers that Obama ought to have known that Graystone was in pre-school with Krugman and that Krugman would turn out to be a communist. Hannity said that this shows Obama's poor judgment in choosing his company.
A snap poll of Fox showed that his viewers agreed with him. 70% of the respondents said that Obama should have known about Graystone and 30% said, 'F*&k Yeah!'.
In an unrelated poll conducted on Fox News, 99.99% of their viewers said that they believe the Earth is flat and that's one of the reasons why they don't visit Alaska (because they're afraid that they would fall off the edge of the Earth if they went too far West). A mysterious lone voter made up the remaining 0.01% and rumors about the lone vote being cast from the Governor's mansion in Alaska are running wild on the internet. Experts suspect that the lone voter may indeed be Gov. Sarah Palin who has repeatedly said that she could see Russia to the West of her house in Wasilla.
Other news media such as NBC, CBS & CNN were criticized by the McCain campaign for not taking this story seriously. McCain complained of blatant bias in the coverage of new events. NBC's Tom Brokaw responded by saying that there was no bias against McCain/Palin and that the only known bias that NBC had was against stupidity. He also said that NBC was working hard at removing the anti-stupidity bias by running shows such as Lipstick Jungle and Kathy & Kim. Sphere: Related Content
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Joe the Plumber to go Shopping at Neiman Marcus
In addition to Saks and Neiman Marcus, Mr. Plumber plans on shopping at Mark Shale and Armani. Mr. Plumber is reportedly looking for suits more expensive than Obama's Hartmarxs and shoes more expensive than McCain's Ferrangamos. When asked about his shopping budget, he replied, "Considering the fact that I am doing more interviews daily than Mrs. Palin has done since the beginning of this campaign, my budget will be at least twice that of her's". Reporters pointed out that while Mr. Obama's suits were purchased out his own money (proceeds from the sale of his two books) and that Mr. McCain's suits were purchased using his wife's beer money, Ms. Palin's clothes were charged to McCain's campaign which has accepted federal funding (taxpayer money). An irritated Mr. Plumber fumed and said, "So it's taxpayer money. Big deal. Aren't taxes supposed to be a redistribution of wealth? How about distributing some of that to me?".
Upon hearing those comments from Mr. Plumber, McCain campaign manager Steve Schmidt quickly annointed Steve the Electrician as the official campaign spokesman, saying that Mr. Plumber was becoming increasingly erratic. Backing up Mr. Schmidt's claim are statements from Mr. Plumber such as "You shall refer to me as the 'Maverick formerly known as Joe the Plumber' " and "I'm suspending all my interviews with Fox News and going to Washington to solve the economic crisis".
In other news, Ms. Palin has reportedly setup a 'Presidential Exploratory Committee' named 'Palin 2012'. When asked about her initial thoughts on a running mate, she replied, "I already have a mate, Todd Palin, and Boy, can he run! He's got more executive experience than me, since he's the one really running the governor's office in Alaska now anyway!" Sphere: Related Content
Friday, October 3, 2008
Lehman Brothers CEO attempts suicide - Wachovia forgives luxury Yacht Loan
With the collapse of Lehman Brothers, Fuld has lost millions in stock and had fallen back on his yacht loan payments. Repeated attempts by Wachovia Bank who owns the loan, and the Miami Police Department over the past couple of months had been unsuccessful. Fuld owns a 20-bedroom vacation home on the Intercoastal in Miami.
Neighbors said that they have seen mail and packages disappear from the front door and believe that Fuld does indeed inhabit the house from time to time and has been coming out in the dead of the night to clear the mail.
At the time of posting this blog, the news from Miami-Dade County Hospital was that Fuld was recovering well after surgery and had reportedly asked for a bottle of his favorite wine from his vacation home, a 1787 Chateau Lafite. In an extraordinary show of solidarity and bipartisanship, Congress today passed unanimously the Millionaire Yacht Bailout Bill. The bill is designed to ensure that all loans on luxury yachts bought by CEOs/CFOs of troubled Wall Street Firms are forgiven by using taxpayer money to pay them off.
In justifying the loan forgiveness, President Bush explained at a White House Press Conference that this was a great example of trickle-down economics working. Govt. bails out Wall Street and Wall Street bails out their CEOs and CFOs. He added, "What could be a better example of Reaganomical success?".
Meanwhile, Addie Polk, the 90yr old Ohio woman who had her own mortgage forgiven by Fannie Mae after she shot herself in an attempt to commit suicide because of impending foreclosure of her house, is contemplating suicide again as she realized after regaining consciousness that her insurance company had canceled her health insurance and that she'd be left to pay the $234,000 hospital bill herself. Incidentally, the hospital bill was more that 5 times the mortgage payoff, which was $45,000.
Asked by reporters what other homeowners facing foreclosure of their homes would have to do in order to obtain loan forgiveness from Fannie Mae, republican presidential candidate Sen. John McCain said that he empathized with them and that he and his wife have had to put one of their 12 houses, a 13bdr ranch in Sedona, AZ on sale themselves because of a dip in beer sales, but told the American people not to worry and that the fundamentals of the economy were strong. In responding to the same question, his running mate, Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin said, "Ultimately, what the bailout does is help those who are concerned about the health care reform that is needed to help shore up the economy– Oh, it’s got to be about job creation too. So health care reform and reducing taxes and reining in spending has got to accompany tax reductions.". While most reporters left the room scratching their heads, Fox News commentators Bill O'Reilly and Sean Hannity were all in praise of Palin's answer, critizing those that questioned her of "gotcha journalism".
Sphere: Related Content
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
McCain calls for Monopoly Bank Bailout Package
This time however, the bailout he is referring to is for the bank in the game of Monopoly. After a rash of defaults by players that made some dubious investments, such as building houses and hotels on Mediterranean abd Baltic Avenues, the bank has run out of cash. Their premise that other players would eventually land on these properties and would pay out has repeatedly been thwarted by bizarre behavior by the dice. Players are now jumping from Community Chest to Just Visiting the Jail to Free Parking. Some are even happy to end up in jail and lose 3 turns, so long as they don't have to pay the rent OR do maintenance on their properties.
Even the cards in community chest and chance are coming up as favorable to players. Consider this one that came up recently to a woman from Alaska, "Congratulations! You've won second prize in a beauty contest. Collect VP Nomination!".
Adding to the bank's woes are players that steal from the bank while others aren't looking. Many blame it on the bank for lack of regulation and oversight, Sen. McCain, who has repatedly voted in the past against regulation, is now calling for stringent regulation and oversight of the bank.
In Washington, Sen. McCain hopes to convince members of his own party, many of whom are skittish about supporting a bailout of the Monopoly Bank using taxpayer money. McCain however hopes to have better luck this time around since many Republicans have houses and hotels on Boardwalk and Park Place and don't like to see the value of their own properties go down.
Analysts say that this is a last ditch effort by the senator from Arizona to revive his campaign from the disastrous interviews that his running mate has given on Network television.
In a related piece of news, lukewarm cadavers around the nation are revolting en masse against Scott Adams, the creator of comic strip Dilbert, after Adams reportedly referred to Sen. McCain as one. Lukewarm cadavers feel deeply insulted by the name-calling since they strongly believe that they have a much better economic plan to offer than the republican presidential candidate.
Sphere: Related Content
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Lou Dobbs: Rebel without a cause
There's one thing to be anti-something and pro-other, but to pull off anti-everything requires a special talent and of all the people that I know, only Lou has that. Why, yesterday, he even wrote a commentary against adopting abandoned puppies saying that it would amount to blanket amnesty for people that abandon puppies.
According to insider sources within CNN, Lou is working on a commentary railing against commentaries. Out to prove a point, he's put his own commentaries top on the list of commentaries he's against. The entire country is eagerly awaiting this anti-commentary commentary. Commentators on both ends of the political spectrum are busy commentating on the pros and cons of such a bold tactic, one that is even more bold than John McCain's selection of Sarah Palin as his running mate (In case you are wondering... Lou is anti-McCain and anti-Palin as well). How he's going to pull this one off has all the makings of a prime-time reality show (he's against those as well).
In other news, there are reports of a spike in binocular sales in the 49th state as more and more Alaskans look West towards Russia in order to gain better foreign policy experience, in case McCain-Palin get elected and they are called upon to staff the State Department. Sphere: Related Content
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Pants on Fire!!
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Of Lipstick, Pigs and Politics
Today, McCain's campaign feigned outrage saying that Obama's comments were in reference to the lipstick comments by Republican VP candidate Sarah Palin at the recently concluded Republican National Convention in St. Paul, MN.
So, it has started. The mud-slinging, the lies, the swift-boating, the deceit and the smears. Just when I thought that this election was a bit different, I have been proven soundly wrong. Beneath all the shiny suits, the $400 loafers and polished talk, every politician has a streetfighter's mentality and in times such as these (http://www.gallup.com/poll/107674/Gallup-Daily-Election-2008.aspx), it comes out and rears its ugly head.
I am not going to start debating on who was right and who is wrong. I think it would do the citizens of this country a lot of good if the discussion were to get back to the issues (the economy, the nation's security and energy policy), rather than this "you said, she said, I said" Kindergarten routine that we're in right now.
The one interesting thing though is that amidst all this noise, we seem to have completely lost track of the other VP candidate, Joe Biden. Where is he? Wasn't he supposed to be Obama's "Attack Dog"? Isn't he the "loud-mouthed" one? Maybe Obama needs to focus his attacks on McCain and Biden on Palin. The more Obama attacks Palin, the more he frames the comparison in people's mind's between himself and Palin, rather than himself and McCain. The odds for Obama in a comparison against McCain are good but not so against Palin. Likewise, Biden against Palin is a cake-walk for Biden BUT the Republicans are cleverly framing this as Palin vs. Obama rather than Palin vs. Biden and looks like the Dems are falling into the trap.
Sphere: Related Content
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Lord Vader
Was doing some research on Sarah Palin and what she was bringing (or not) to the table and ran into the following excerpt from an interview that Karl Rove did on "Face the Nation" a month ago:
SCHIEFFER: You have said yourself in the past that Obama probably should pick a red state governor, somebody just like Tim Kaine that we just heard just a minute ago from
Mr. ROVE: Yeah. I think it’s going to be in play, but let me clarify. I didn’t say that I thought he ought to, I said that I thought he probably would pick a red state Democrat, because I think he’s going to make an intensely political choice, not a governing choice. He’s going to view this through the prism of a candidate, not through the prism of president; that is to say, he’s going to pick somebody that he thinks will on the margin help him in a state like Indiana or Missouri or Virginia. He’s not going to be thinking big and broad about the responsibilities of president.
With all due respect again to Governor Kaine, he’s been a governor for three years, he’s been able but undistinguished. I don’t think people could really name a big, important thing that he’s done. He was mayor of the 105th largest city in
So when Steve Schmidt, disciple numero uno of Rove, feigns anger at the media for apparently questioning Palin's resume and calls them sexist for even asking basic questions on Palin's experience, it reeks of hypocrisy.
I think what the McCain camp is trying to say is this:
If you are a red state Governor and a woman (and hot!) and the name of your state begins and ends with A and your state has more moose than humans and you have been mayor of a village that begins with W and you have extremely conservative social views and you are for drilling everywhere including the Grand Canyon (Hey! The
Pale-in-Comparison
So let's for a moment go with that assumption. The next question then is, why so much noise around Palin?
It is not because of Palin herself, a lite-featherweight at best, but what her selection tells us about Grandpa McSame:
- He put "winning first" and "COUNTRY LAST" because he realized that his original choice, Joe LIE-berman, would have gone nowhere with the conservative right-wing (think Limbaugh, Hannity, Coulter, Corsi). And he also knows that he's putting a small-town (more like a village) mayor from Alaska who just got herself a passport, a heartbeat away from the presidency. McCain is a two-time cancer survivor and not in the greatest of healths.
- He is desperate to reinforce his Maverick status by doing the unexpected. The problem is that when the unexpected also becomes the "under-vetted" OR "under-cooked", then that's where a Maverick moves quickly turns into a moronic one.
- Again, in order to win at all costs, he is shamelessly pandering to the extreme right-wingers in the Republican party, while he himself is against some of their wierd positions (abstinence only education, creationism and other such nonsense).
And some closing thoughts on Palin herself:
No doubt a strong characted and a good person but one has to question her judgement to thrust her pregnant teenage daughter into the national limelight (think front page of National Enquirer) just to advance her own political career. Whatever happened to the GOP being the Party of Family Values? I'm not saying that she shouldn't run for higher office at all but just questioning the timing of her decision. And Oh, BTW, she cannot hold a candle to Hillary (or Biden for that matter). Sphere: Related Content