The One!

As you may have heard, this year's Presidential Election in the US is between This One and That One. While their last names are the same, they are not at all related (by any stretch of the imagination). That One is clearly different from This One.

Here is a transcript of a debate that This One recently had with That One last night, moderated by NBC's Tom Brokaw:

This One: You know who voted for the Energy Bill of 2005? That One!

Brokaw: Oh! That One.

This One: No, not that one, but the other "That one".

Brokaw: There's another one?

This One: Yes, that what I've been trying to tell the American Public all these days. That One is not what he seems. That one's really another one. The other one is really dangerous and not worthy of your trust.

Brokaw: So that one didn't vote for the bill but the other one did?

This One: NO! That one and the other one are one and the same.

Brokaw: You mean, there's no other one and there's just that one?

This One: No! There this one (pointing to himself) and that one (pointing at his rival).

Brokaw: So who voted for the bill and who voted against?

This One: I voted against; that one voted for.

Brokaw: You mean that one voted for the bill that was floated by the other one?

This One: No, the other one is the evil one.

Brokaw: You're saying that, that one is evil?

This One: No, that one isn't evil, the other one is.

Brokaw: But you said that, that one and the other one were one and the same.

At this point, That One decided that he'd gone long enough without saying anything.

That One: Tom, it's this one and the other one that are the same. Not me. I'm that one, remember?

At this point, the debate ended abruptly after NBC determined that most people had switched off their TVs. The audience in the hall was then woken up, given some coffee and sent home. The post-debate spin-meisters then got together and talked about this one, that one and the other one until one (1am that is).

Meanwhile, a nationwide poll of 1000 undecided voters who viewed the debate came out this way:

This One: 4%
That One: 10%
The Other One: 1% (this ties the lowest score the other one has ever had)
Oh my God! We're really screwed !!: 85%


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